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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27826891">Never let me hit the ground</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiKate/pseuds/FiKate'>FiKate</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Skating, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Dancing AU, Ice Skating, Minor Shara Bey/Kes Dameron, Multi, Rebelcaptain Big Bang, Slow Burn, human k2so</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:08:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27826891</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiKate/pseuds/FiKate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jyn Erso's a former single skater that's been paired with ice dancer Cassian Andor, a dependable skater who can't seem to get beyond the middle ranks. She's skeptical but choreographers Baze and Chirrut see a possibility within the pair that they don't realize yet. </p><p>This was inspired by how ice dancers can move in sync with each other, the behind the scenes gif of Diego and Felicity practicing fighting and also by <i>The Cutting Edge</i>, any errors about figure skating are mine. Written for the rebelcaptain big bang 2020 and gorgeous art provided by Doptimous.  Title from  Ingrid Michaelson's Parachute.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Chirrut Îmwe/Baze Malbus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Rebelcaptain Big Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Warm up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She met him at every turn, step, step, move together as the ice slips beneath them. Her eyes held his, full of passion though he didn’t know what it was for. Did she want to win? Did she want to prove everyone wrong? Was she annoyed to be partnered with him?</p>
<p>The music stopped and they pulled apart yet still close enough he heard her breathing change from the flow of skating to stopping. Mothma leaned forward, he could see her deciding as behind her Draven watched, his coach and the woman who had seen something and thought they would work. He couldn’t hear all of their discussion, but enough to catch ‘nice footwork’, ‘decent flow’, ‘her only chance’. Beside him he could feel her impatience and she finally went to do a lap of the rink with a mutter of, “Not right.”</p>
<p>Once she was far enough away, he relaxed slightly, there weren’t any promises on them working together. It was a good session but she knew what she wanted and he was often told that he didn’t skate with enough passion. Draven had always spoken of restraint, but that wasn’t working and now, he’d probably lost his last chance. Being on the ice had always felt right, but the only person he’d found who understood him was Kay. Kay, his sarcastic friend who spent his days as an engineer while sending detailed reports to Cassian of all the ways he wouldn’t win or how he might with this or that partner. When he talked to Kay about how the world made sense out there, Kay nodded and didn’t ask him to show it with wide eyes and smiles. It came down to this was what he knew how to do and Kay got that, Kay lived in math and he lived on ice.</p>
<p>He could always try teaching classes, more than he did since he was good at helping people improve. There it wouldn’t matter that his smiles came slowly, he knew how to work, he knew how to listen, he simply hadn’t found anyone to dance with.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Jyn watched him skate slowly to the wall as she rounded the corner. This was a bad idea, they wouldn’t work as partners. He was too controlled, she’d seen glimpses of intensity in his eyes, when he’d met her gaze and held her to the steps. But that fire had been banked, controlled, he was one of the best technicians she’d ever skated with. One who could actually keep up with her which was rare but he was just one more cog in Draven’s army of skaters; an elegant one with good lines, not for her. She went to the wall and Cassian looked at her before Mothma, ever elegant Mothma who knew everything in the Rebel skating world spoke, “I think you two will work. We’ll need to find a good choreographer for you as your styles are closer than I’d anticipated.”</p>
<p>Draven grunted and they both left the ice, Jyn got out as soon as she could. She’d be back for their next practice and find out what was expected of her this time.</p>
<p>By the time Bodhi met her at the cafe, she was angrily stirring her tea and had crumbled her scone to bits. He set his tea down carefully, “That bad?”</p>
<p>“They’re deciding it all. The program’s not doing well, so they put the two of us together. I need to be fixed and he can adapt to skate with anyone.”</p>
<p>“What was he like to skate with?”</p>
<p>“He was fine, competent, elegant but controlled. I’m not going to be controlled.”</p>
<p>“They’re not stupid enough to do that.”</p>
<p>“Mothma might not be but Draven would and he’s Draven’s reliable skater. I don’t see why he doesn’t hate it.”</p>
<p>“Maybe he’s just used to it. You know how long he’s been trained by them. Remember how long it took me to figure out the Empire team was crushing my soul?”</p>
<p>“They were horrible to you, to everyone, no one should be treated that way. Mothma and Draven aren’t like that. Draven might be. Damn it, he’s not like you.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but you’d be bored skating with me and you know it.”</p>
<p>“I know and my jumps aren’t good enough anymore to be on my own but they don’t trust me in pairs yet. So I have to put up with ice dancing before I can fly again and prove I can work with a partner. Which I will, I’ll show them all.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“You are going to tell me what you’re good at.”</p>
<p>Cassian looked over at Jyn, this wasn’t how it normally went but Chirrut was one of best choreographers though he was losing his sight, that’s why his partner Baze went everywhere with him, “You want us to tell you?”</p>
<p>“Yes, then I’ll see how much of it is true.”</p>
<p>Jyn made a sound that was almost a laugh, “I’m explosive and passionate.”</p>
<p>He found himself standing at what Draven always called ready position as he said, “I’m efficient and adaptable.”</p>
<p>Reliable too, that was a word he always got, but he wasn’t going to say it. They knew who he was, the skater that could fit anyone’s style and make them look better until they moved on.</p>
<p>“No, that’s what everyone’s told you that you are, enough that you believe it. We’re going to try some music, try a tango pattern for it,” Chirrut nodded. Cassian turned to Jyn and for a moment thought he saw something in her eyes, confusion or maybe pity. She took his hand with a shake of her head, “Fine, tango even though it’s not this year’s pattern.”</p>
<p>Baze rumbled out, “No, trust us.”</p>
<p>Then the music started and Cassian said, “Pacific Rim?”</p>
<p>While Jyn laughed, “Are you checking that we’re drift compatible?”</p>
<p>“Don’t be rude. It’s music, it will propel you and since you want to fight more than dance together. This way you can do that.” Baze had paused the music and glared at them before starting it again.</p>
<p>It was awkward to figure out how to move to the music though not as hard as he’d expected. Once they almost collided before he gently shifted her elbow and then they matched better. She at one point brought her arms up as if holding a staff and then he mirrored her, trying to find a way to reflect the fight from the movie. The quick beats led into footwork and then as the music stopped, they were closer than Cassian had expected but that was how ice dancing worked.</p>
<p>She looked startled and skated quickly back to the wall where Chirrut was smiling before he said, “Oh, you two are wonderful. Did you feel how easily you fell into sync together? This isn’t a tango but this will be your free music to show both your passions and how you, Cassian, you love to move.”</p>
<p>Cassian went to join her at the wall while he scratched his beard, that seemed too simple, “I wouldn’t be a skater if I didn’t.”</p>
<p>Chirrut sighed and Baze frowned at him before he said, “Yes, but you haven’t been. Now you will. You both needed a challenge.”</p>
<p>Jyn scoffed at that idea, but then she was always pushing herself, “Right, a challenge.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Yes, you’re both fighters. I know how we can use that for the short dance, this year is blues so we will tell them a sad story of war and almosts.”</p>
<p>Jyn leaned on the side of the rink and looked at Chirrut and was aware of Cassian slightly mirroring her confused look. She didn’t care how her bitterness came out, “Almosts. Won’t some people think that’s a little too close for us? The almost great singles skater, the partner who almost gets there but is left behind.”</p>
<p>For a moment, she thought she saw Cassian flinch, but it was true. She’d watched his performances, he was always as good as his partners but let himself be left behind since that was what he was told to do.</p>
<p>Baze said, “Ghosts, we all have those and what’s out there has to be true or else it won’t work. You know that.”</p>
<p>Her skates shushed as she did a quick turn, she didn’t want to think of her ghosts, of Saw, lost to disgrace, her father, gone and her mother dead. She ended up closer to Cassian and watched his face shutter closed. He had his ghosts he didn’t want to think about, his mother the ballet dancer, his father the reporter, they’d left Mexico but died in some sort of accident. She didn’t remember how he ended up with Draven, maybe through his mother, but none of that mattered, “Fine, what’s the story of these ghosts and almosts?”</p>
<p>Chirrut nodded and began to play a ballad from the 1940s as Baze hummed along, “We begin at a dance, two shy partners approach each other. First they’re careful, turning around each other but moving closer. Soon there’s a dance when they realize, oh I know you somehow, sit spin and pattern are there. A lift before moving close but ever apart, stealing glances and wondering before a brief meeting again, fast and full of heat then it all comes apart and he rests in her arms, too far gone to return. It will be an image they won’t forget and will suit you both before we show another side of you both. Strong, sure and better together.”</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Now move your leg toward him as if into a kick and he will catch you,” Chirrut said from his seat in the gym as Jyn faced Cassian.</p>
<p>“Just one leg?” The difference between a lift working and not seemed to depend on angles and apparently what only Chirrut could see and feel in their lines. She shrugged and set herself down into a proper attack before kicking out and just as her leg was about to meet Cassian’s side, he caught her leg.</p>
<p>“No, that’s not right. I think if you move lower and he holds your arms, then there’s good tension,” Chirrut said while Cassian held onto her leg until he saw she had her balance, she was surprised to find how much she trusted that he wouldn’t let her fall. He didn’t look strong, but there was steel in his lean lines. She did like the danger to lifts though they weren’t as exciting as what pairs did, but somehow complicated.</p>
<p>“Good, now do it again at speed,” Chirrut said as they started again, only once did Jyn end up almost on the mat and Cassian ended up being the one who took the worst of the fall.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“I hate that I didn’t get to choose,” Jyn said to Bodhi as she sat on the bench. Before he answered, she saw Cassian in the hall and something flickered in his eyes. She saw the set of his shoulders change as he looked her way.</p>
<p>Then he turned and by the time, he’d reached the door, his face was neutral, “You’ll be able to choose. You should have before. Sorry, I heard you.”</p>
<p>Beside her Bodhi made a sound and she knew he was getting ready to start talking so she spoke up, “Thanks, you know how it is, everyone tells you where to go.”</p>
<p>“Yes, good skate today. Oh and I always do a dinner around this time of year if you want to come, both of you.”</p>
<p>“We’ll be there.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>As they were getting their final fitting, Jyn watched Cassian consider his beard in the mirror and said, “Don’t shave too much of it.”</p>
<p>He startled and winced as a pin poked him and Maz grumbled at him and then he said, “I..what’s too much?”</p>
<p>“Keep some on your jaw, it looks nice and gives you a good brooding look,” That didn’t come out how she meant it to, she liked his hint of a beard. He had history and it felt right that it showed on his face, also she enjoyed those moments when his stubble let know her where he was. This wasn’t a train of thought to be having.</p>
<p>“Brooding,” The way he said it wasn’t good, but she’d said her piece. She’d seen pictures of him when he was younger and with other partners when he’d had a defined goatee that did odd things to his proportions.</p>
<p>Jyn shook her head, she was thinking too much about his facial hair, “Do whatever you want.”</p>
<p>Now she was certain Maz came over to poke her on purpose while adjusting the cloth that was giving the illusion of the Pacific Rim suits.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Short Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jyn and Cassian grow closer as they plan an exhibition dance and Cassian gets hurt. I know short dance is for pairs and not ice dance but I like it better as a title.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Cassian, you never told me you had such nice fans,” Jyn said as she looked up from her laptop to admire Cassian in the middle of a good stretch in the dance studio.</p><p>“I do? Oh yes, fans are good but they’re usually not for me,” He had a questioning sound in his voice and she read aloud, “I think Cassian’s finally found a partner. Did you see how they looked at each other? Then there’s another one saying that they loved our choice of music and that you were smiling more.”</p><p>“They noticed that?” She sighed and leaned back to stretch her arms and watch him, “Of course they did. They liked us.”</p><p>Also there are a lot of comments on how they wonder how long she’ll stay his partner and what she wants. He did one of his half but true smiles that brought out a dimple, “Good, I thought it went well and we can make our lines sharper for the Pacific Rim piece.”</p><p>“Yes, that should be fun,” She shut the laptop though she’d saved the page, this was another angle on getting to know him and his history. Then she started to shift over backwards, rolling towards him so that he picked her up and she said, “First fall to the end.”</p><p>It was comfortable to shift into position and fight and dance with him, now she knew he would be there and could enjoy making the spar tighter.</p><hr/><p>“You need an exhibition dance,” Chirrut said at the end of a practice.</p><p>Cassian looked over at Jyn who seemed skeptical so he pointed out, “We’ve only been in the top ten so far.”</p><p>“That will change,” Baze said with a smile, “You’re getting better with each performance. Now you tell us what you want to dance to.”</p><p>Jyn frowned, “It can be anything?”</p><p>“Yes, it’s not that different from in singles skating,” He clarified for Jyn though he didn’t think she’d need it.</p><p>“No, but we both have to decide,” Now she was doubting.</p><p>“And we will, maybe something rock with a good edge,” It’s what she would like and be fun to dance to.</p><p>“What have you always wanted to skate to?” Jyn moved almost in front of him and he considered her.</p><p>“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it,” It was never a question that he was asked.</p><p>“Then think about it, because you’re choosing the music,” She smiled like she’d gotten something over on him and he smiled back, it was hard not to when she was that happy.</p><p>“I’ll bring a few choices in tomorrow,” He did have some ideas but they’d always felt too personal to skate to.</p><p>The next day, Cassian had the music choices and took a deep breath as he offered them to Baze and Chirrut and Jyn before they went on this ice, “Here, this is what I was thinking about. Its music that my mother always wanted to dance to.”</p><p>Jyn reached the playlist first, scrolling through the choices, “Sleeping Beauty, Romeo and Juliet, all the classics.”</p><p>“Have you ever skated to them?” Cassian couldn’t see Jyn in that role of ice princess but early in her career someone might have tried it for her.</p><p>“No, not really my thing but why haven’t you?” Her question made sense, after all he was adaptable and he shrugged. The answer was simple, that he and his partners didn’t place high enough and if they planned one it was never to highlight him.</p><p>Chirrut smiled and nodded, “Yes, this will work. I think Sleeping Beauty as its about strength and lyricism which you both do. Another way to surprise them all and show them what you can do.”</p><hr/><p>The hold in a lift wasn’t working right and Cassian adjusted his catch to keep Jyn from hitting the ice and felt something in his leg protest. Jyn got both feet on the ice and glanced at him as if she was trying to read him like a code, “You’re hurt.”</p><p>He winced as he stood up, his right leg protesting but he managed a partial smile, “Its nothing too bad, only a little sore. Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yes, I think I must have come down wrong, but you caught me.” Jyn sounded a little surprised, he wished that she didn’t. She should know by now that he would always catch her, that’s what being her partner meant.</p><p>Getting over to the wall was more painful than he’d like, his leg felt tight and then he found Baze’s stern gaze fixed on him, “You’re going to the doctor.”</p><p>Cassian opened his mouth to protest but Baze’s glare stopped him as he winced to put on his skate guards, “Okay, but I probably just need to rest it and I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”</p><p>Jyn was at his side as he did his best to not limp as he made his way to a bench. He could hear Chirrut calling Doctor Relyne while he stretched out his leg and massaged it, maybe it was only a cramp.</p><p>“Feeling any better?” Jyn asked from a seat across the way and he shrugged and took a sip of water. He didn’t want to worry her.</p><p>Chirrut came in with Doctor Relyne who sighed to see him, “Hello, Cassian, I hope you haven’t hurt yourself too badly this time.”</p><p>“No, not at all, everyone’s being overly cautious.” Which he understood but he didn’t like being the center of everyone’s attention. Whenever he looked over, Jyn was glancing at him over her water bottle.</p><p>“Yes, they do that since you’re kind and reliable. The rest of you, give us some privacy.” He watched Jyn, Chirrut and Baze head off though Jyn gave him another look back. Doctor Relyne started to examine his leg, she was always efficient and knew all of his old injuries. There weren’t as many as there might have been, but a part of being a skater, being hurt and healing. “I’ll wrap it, give you some pain medicine and you’re not to skate or walk for at least a week. No complaints, less than that and it will get worse.”</p><p>Cassian had nodded and then quicker than he would have expected, Jyn and everyone had gotten him home. Thankfully, there weren’t too many steps up and he had his key ready. He headed for the couch, there was a stool that he’d used before for resting his leg and stretched it out then searched for Jyn.</p><p>“Why do you have cookies in your freezer? Fancy cookies too.”</p><p>“My mother used to do that, she had a friend, another ballerina and they’d talk over cookies. They’d only ever eat one or two then save the rest. So I have them.” She was in his freezer? She was looking for ice, that made sense and he hadn’t eaten those cookies in a while. He just liked knowing they were in there.</p><p>When she came back, he’d readjusted how he was sitting and moved the pile of books and magazines that seemed to live on the coffee table. Jyn set down two mugs of tea and a small plate with a few cookies on it, she’d carried it balanced on the mugs. “I wasn’t sure which kind you liked so went with Earl Grey, because everyone likes it.”</p><p>“It smells good and you brought the cookies.” He hadn’t expected her to do that.</p><p>“And an ice pack,” She grinned as she pulled the ice pack from the back of her pants and set it on his leg, “Now you’re all set.”</p><p>Then she almost flopped next to him, his old couch made a few squeaks and ended up tilting her closer to him, the top of her head was almost at his shoulder. It seemed like she fit beside him, but he pushed that thought away, “I am.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“So what’s your sick watching?” The remote was closest to Jyn and she’d turned on the TV and was looking through his lasts. “Discovery, that’s probably Kay, Food Network, that looks more like you. And there’s a Chopped marathon, that should work.”</p><p>He laughed and leaned back, ending up closer to her again, “You’ve figured out me out.”</p><p>“I’ve been in your kitchen, no one with as many spices as you have doesn’t watch food shows. Or condiments, so many sauces.”</p><p>“I never know which one I’ll need and like to be prepared for when there isn’t time to make the sauce myself.”</p><p>“That fits, adaptable could be your middle name.”</p><p>“Instead of Jeron?”</p><p>“Along with it, now be quiet, I want to see what they’re making.”</p><p>Cassian smiled as he settled into watch, the pain and the long day started to catch up with him and he kept closing his eyes.</p><p>“I brought dinner,” Kay’s voice startled Cassian awake and as he stirred, he realized he’d fallen asleep on Jyn’s shoulder. Her face was closer to him than he’d expected and they both shifted away as Kay set down take out bags from the local Thai place.</p><hr/><p>Cassian watched Jyn at her laptop while he stretched, his leg was still sore but he was up for practice, and then she turned his way, “What’s this?”</p><p>“I went looking in some archives and found a few interviews that your mother did.”</p><p>She stared at him then pressed play and he heard her mother, Lyra Erso, who had been a brilliant figure skater talking about her life, “I never expected to marry, especially not to a scientist but Galen and I suit each other. Now I can’t imagine skating and not having him and my Jyn watching me.”</p><p>While the interview continued playing, he finished his stretches and started on the weights as he wanted to give her all the time she needed. And he was doing the extra exercises to help his leg. He probably should have sent it to her after their afternoon practice but he’d wanted to see her face. As he changed position, he saw the reverence on her face as she watched the interview.</p><p>His muscles were aching from his arm reps when Jyn’s face was much closer than he expected, “Thank you. Now tell you where you found them. I have water for you.”</p><p>He laughed and came to sit beside her where she did have cold water for him, “In the BBC archives. You hadn’t seen it before?”</p><p>“No, why were you in there?”</p><p>“I like reading my father’s old articles and I’ve found interviews with my mother. I like seeing what I can find.”</p><p>“And you went looking for me?” Jyn sounded so surprised, he was learning about her. She’d done the same about him.</p><p>“Yes, I think there might be more too.”</p><p>She hugged him then stood up as if she needed to move, he moved with her as she said, “Pacific Rim lifts.”</p><p>He didn’t need more than that as it was a joy to catch her and feel every line flow together.</p><hr/><p>Cassian flopped down on the studio floor and stretched his arms out as he heard Baze’s deep laugh and Chirrut said, “Yes, that’s enough for today.”</p><p>Then he heard Jyn’s laugh before suddenly she was beside him on the floor and he was suddenly very aware of how close she was. Even though she’d just been in his arms practicing lifts, that wasn’t the same as lying beside him with her hair touching his arm.</p><p>She looked over at him with a grin as there was a knock and then Bodhi came in, giving them a look. Cassian could feel himself blushing as Jyn stood up and smiled at Bodhi, “You’re early.”</p><p>“I had a clean run through headed over. You look comfy. I can come back later,” Bodhi said with his eyes full of questions and then Jyn sighed as Baze said, “No, we’re done with them for today.”</p><p>“See you on Monday, Cassian,” Jyn said with a smile that seemed almost shy at him. She must have seen him blushing, it was odd to be seen in a quiet moment by someone else. Even though they were always watched during practice, he just wanted her to be closer a little longer.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Free Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As the competition season grows more intense, Jyn starts to look forward to what might be her next steps as Cassian deals with them as well.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>One important part of Cassian's character for me is that what makes him good his work is how he adapts to what other people need. That allows him to disappear and gain the trust of assets. I wanted to think about how would work in a figure skating setting and how Jyn, who is better at going after what she wants reacts to those choices.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jyn pulled up the last text she’d had from Saw before he died. <em>Don’t settle. Take what you want.</em></p><p>Then there was a list of names from Mothma and as Jyn read through every name, she knew they would be glad to partner with her now. A chance to maybe try for pairs where she could really fly instead of sinking into the ice. She looked up to her email pinging and a reply to her message on the fan forum, it probably was stupid to create an account, but she liked the people there. They wouldn’t like her in the end when she left him. Cassian would do fine, he was good at adapting, it was what he did. And nothing was decided, it was only some names so she could try out to figure out who she wanted to skate with. When Draven or Mothma approached her, then she’d know it was time to get ready for her next step.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Cassian tried to ignore how thoughtful Jyn was as she entered the warm up room, he didn’t want her to be getting ready to leave. But he knew, he knew how this went and she was one of the best. He’d heard a rumor of setting her up with Antilles or Chewbacca, creating a high flying pairs partnership to win medals. He stretched, trying to get the kinks out of his back, this wasn’t the time to think that, if anything happened, it would be at the end of the season.</p><p>Jyn rested her hand on his back, finding just the right place to push and rub and he shifted back into her touch, he shouldn’t get used to this, “Thank you.”</p><p>“You think too much,” It was one of her refrains for him that Chirrut was always echoing, but he knew this world too well. He closed his eyes and tried to only focus on her hand moving through the layers of his warm up jacket and his costume. Footsteps went past them and he felt her hand still as a crisp voice said, “Andor, someone should take you to a barber. That beard makes you look like a ruffian, but that does suit your partner.”</p><p>He opened his eyes to Krennic and before he could speak, Jyn said, “No one asked you.”</p><p>“Ah, Erso, always ready with the quip, it doesn’t change anything. You’re both too messy to ever beat anyone from Empire,” As he spoke, Cassian shifted to touch Jyn with his thigh, so she knew he was there.</p><p>“We’ve done it once and we’ll do it again,” Cassian said, keeping his voice neutral as Krennic turned away. Last competition, they had been number five with Thrawn and Pryce just under them at six.</p><p>“I hate him,” Jyn said, her voice tight and he nodded, not wanting to say the wrong words, “We’ll beat them all.”</p><p>“We will.” Their standings were getting higher with each competition.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jyn smiled as she skated around the rink, practicing jumps as she waited for Mothma and Chewbacca to arrive. It felt good to really fly again though she realized she kept reaching her hand out and watching over her shoulder expecting to see Cassian. He wouldn’t be in today, he was helping Kay with some work on new skate designs and she was glad. Once everything was sorted out, then she would let him know. Plenty of time for new partners and adjustments before the Olympic cycle started.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Next year, we’ll build on this. Make you the pair that everyone thinks of in terms of contrasts, soft and hard and always together,” Chirrut said with a smile to himself as they went through Pacific Rim.</p><p>As the music ended, Cassian looked at Chirrut, who seemed so happy. He had to know that wasn’t going to happen. The plan had always been that he would help Jyn get where she needed to be then she’d leave after Cassian had done his job.</p><p>Baze laughed, “Yes, have they decided the pattern yet? Jyn, we’ll find you a skirt that twists with you.”</p><p>The look on Jyn’s face was hard to decipher, but this couldn’t go on. Those hopes weren’t going to happen, as he stepped out of the rink, he took a breath and said, “That won’t happen. Jyn’s going to have a new partner.”</p><p>Cassian hated how tight his voice sounded but this was what had to be said, “That’s always been the plan, but you’ll probably still do the choreography.”</p><p>He heard Jyn behind him and turned to see her looking angry and sad, “Yes, if I can choose. I’ll want both of you.”</p><p>“You’ll be able to choose, you’re that good,” It was meant to be helpful but Cassian didn’t know if it was.</p><p>Chirrut said, “Why not stay together?”</p><p>“Because I want to be a pairs’ skater but had to prove I could be a good partner,” Jyn answered.</p><p>“And now you have and have your pick,” It was simple and he needed to get out of here before he said something he’d regret.</p><p>“Cassian’s not your pick?” He couldn’t tell if it was Baze or Chirrut as they both asked at the same moment.</p><p>“I was never an option. Let’s just get through World’s, show everyone how good you are and then you have your choice.”</p><p>Once his skates were covered, he headed to a quiet part of the locker room to get out of his skates and away. He thought he had more time before he had to prepare to say goodbye.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jyn stared at Cassian’s retreating form, she’d never heard him so hurt before. When she got home, she was only vaguely aware of Bodhi cooking. He handed her a mug of tea before sitting down across from her, “Tell me.”</p><p>“I’ve never seen Cassian like that before. He wasn’t hiding anything as he told Chirrut to not plan for us, for next year.”</p><p>“Oh, didn’t Chirrut know?”</p><p>“I”m not sure. Nothing’s in the open. I haven’t picked anyone yet but I will. This is what I want.”</p><p>“And that’s what matters. But you’ve never thought of staying on with Cassian? I mean you two are really good together.”</p><p>“No, I want to jump again.” And while it was nice to skate with Cassian, she knew what she wanted. “And you should have heard Cassian explaining that this is what he does. It was so weird, he was hurt and even said he was never an option.”</p><p>She didn’t know why his saying that bothered her, it was true, this was what he did.</p><p>“Why does he think that way? He’s one of the consistently best skaters,” Bodhi said with a lot of confusion in his voice.</p><p>“Because he’s always only as good as who he’s skating with. He matches with them and you know how it is with partnering, the man supports. Cassian took that to heart,” Which made him a wonderful partner, Jyn knew she could trust him, but he hid himself away.</p><p>“He doesn’t do that with you, everyone’s talking about how much you’re equals on the ice. Like Shara and Kes who seem to be able to read each other’s minds.”</p><p>“We’re not there,” Though Jyn knew that it wouldn’t take too long for them to get there, “And we’re not going to be. I want to jump again.”</p><p>Bodhi sipped his tea and gave her one of his looks, he wanted her to figure this out for herself.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Before practice the next day, Cassian arrived early, searching out Baze and Chirrut, who were having their morning tea, “I wanted to apologize for losing my temper. I thought you knew already that Jyn and I weren’t going to be partners next season.”</p><p>Baze rumbled before he said, “Yes, Draven mentioned that the two of you were only temporary.”</p><p>“But we thought you’d change your mind. You skate so well together,” Chirrut said with such conviction in his voice, it hurt Cassian to hear it. He knew that he and Jyn were good together, but he wasn’t what she wanted.</p><p>“I know, but she wants to jump, she’s made it clear that’s what she wants. I’m not going to get in her way, enough other people have.”</p><p>“What about your next season?”</p><p>“I’ll adapt to whatever happens next, that’s what I do. I help other skaters figure out where they fit.”</p><p>“Yes, you’re good at being what others need you to be, but also at being yourself. That’s why you’ve done so well this season.” Chirrut said as he swirled his tea.</p><p>Cassian ran his hand over his face, he didn’t want to think about what he wanted, he wasn’t going to ask Jyn to stay with him. That wouldn’t be fair to her, “A lot of factors have worked this season, they can work during another one.”</p><p>“Yes, they can,” Baze said as Cassian nodded and went to get ready for practice.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Mothma had sent her a file with performances and a note that said: Here are all your choices.</p><p>It was so simple to say but it didn’t feel that way anymore, but she had to decide. The music began and she watched herself trying to find out how to reach Chewie as he slowed. In time, they could work but they didn’t look right together. Antilles was next, they had the same speed and power and the height difference wasn’t too striking. They could work. When she pressed the third play, she froze as she heard their short dance music starting and pressed pause. Jyn took a breath, she could do this. She’d watched their performances before, that helped them get better. Tonight wasn’t that different, but it was. This was her future. Her phone was under her hand, she quickly texted Bodhi, “Mothma sent me a vid with Cassian as one of my choices.”</p><p>“Staying with him is a choice.” Bodhi sent back quickly.</p><p>“Not helpful, watching now.” She pressed play and tried to watch as if this wasn’t her, that wasn’t right. Watch for him as a potential partner even though that wasn’t fair, but maybe it could be. They looked well together and were in sync.</p><p>
  
</p><p>There was a knock at the door just as they took their final pose and she went up to let Bodhi in as he gave her a concerned look, “Are you crying?”</p><p>Jyn checked her face and there were a few tears, “I didn’t mean to. It’s not that sad a song.”</p><p>Bodhi gave her a hug as they went back to sit on her bed, “This is all about you choosing, right? Choose him and plan next year.”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Gala</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As they perform at Worlds, doing better than they have before, Jyn figures out what she wants.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I realized after I posted this that I didn't add notes. Thank you so much for reading this as this fic has been living in my head for far too long. One of the trickiest part of it was how I would have many scenes and options for various parts of this fic as I really love this world. This is also at this point, the second longest fic I've ever written, something about Jyn and Cassian truly inspires me.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jyn kept her smile on, it felt good to be at this press conference at Worlds. They weren’t expected to be this good but they were. “What are your plans for next season, Jyn?”</p><p>“I want to get through this season first.” That got a laugh.</p><p>“And where do you want to end the season?”</p><p>“Top three.” She looked over at Cassian who gave her one of his true smiles, the half one that showed his dimples.</p><p>“Cassian, do you feel like you can keep up with Jyn?” Jyn gave the reporter a glance, that was an odd question. He was as good as she was.</p><p>“She makes me a better skater. I love being challenged by her.”</p><p>“Jyn, who will be your next partner?”</p><p>That was a question she was expecting but somehow hearing it out in the open was uncomfortable. Especially with Cassian sitting beside her as if he didn’t matter, he was just a placeholder for someone better. “As I said before. I’m focusing on this season with Cassian.”</p><p>The reporter, she thought maybe from one of the skating sites rolled her eyes but didn’t push it. The rest of the questions were directed to everyone else and when they left, she bumped Cassian’s shoulder which got him to slow down and look at her. “Sorry about that.”</p><p>“Why? You were wonderful in there and you should be who they’re talking about.”</p><p>“But they treated you like you didn’t matter. That’s not fair.”</p><p>“No, but it’s how it is and has been since early seasons once they realized I wasn’t going to be who they thought I should be.”</p><p>“And what’s that?”</p><p>“Passionate, messy, their own private telenovela. I’m meant to be boring, it keeps everyone’s eyes on you.” He ran his hand through his hair, messing up his neat almost pompadour style. “And you could have told everyone what you’ve decided. It’s all up to you.”</p><p>“I know and I will when I know.” Jyn sighed, she wasn’t normally indecisive. “I promise I won’t make you wait.”</p><p>That wasn’t exactly the phrasing she meant to use and his eyes widened before he scratched his beard. It was as if he’d saved up all his nervous motions until after the press conference, all that was missing was rubbing the back of his neck.</p><p>“Oh, thank you.” Then he did rub his neck and Jyn smiled. She was going to say something else when she heard Kay and Bodhi. Kay spoke first. “There you are. It seemed as if that went as well as it could have. Over dinner I want to talk to you about your lacing. I think I can improve it.”</p><p>Cassian gave her a look while Bodhi almost tripped over his feet as he reached them. Then Cassian said, “Okay, have a good night.”</p><p>Kay nodded to her and then the two of them were walking away as Bodhi almost whispered. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt something.”</p><p>“You weren’t. We were just talking.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>As she got into her first pose for the short dance, she met Cassian’s eyes and she’d never seen him be so present. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes but that fit the music, it didn’t have anything to do with this being possibly one of their last two performances. She wasn’t going to think about that, this was a moment for hitting every mark perfectly and pulling the audience along with them.</p><p>When the music began, it was easy to be shy and surprised as they went through their first close section, his hands always keeping her secure as she reached up and out then back towards him. Covering the ice with the footwork and connecting with her eyes before he pulled her into the tightest lift as her legs went out while he held her safe, the comfortable tickle of his beard on her neck. Then splitting apart but never far for twizzles, tight and fast spins while the music had the drums of war behind it.</p><p>She could reach out her hand and know he would be there as they pulled into the last section, a true slow dance before he fell in her arms and she took the cloth heart on her chest and made it a death wound on his.</p><p>Then there was silence as the music stopped, they held the pose for four counts and then the applause began. Cassian shifted up with her leverage, smiling in a way that transformed his face, both his dimples were there and she could see the laugh lines around his eyes. She let the movement take her into a quick hug because the bow could wait, this was their best performance. Also it meant that smile was truly directed at her, which made her heart beat faster. He kissed her forehead before shifting back into the bow but she’d seen that worried flicker in his eyes about kissing her. She smiled at him and then at the crowd, before starting the skate back to kiss and cry. Her hand felt safe in his though she thought her face would hurt from all the smiles as he picked up a bear dressed like a soldier and some flowers.</p><p>As they sat down, he set the bear down next to him and handed her the flowers, deep red almost purple tulips. She raised an eyebrow at him while they both started on their waters before he said. “Know they’re your favorite and spotted them.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Then the scores began and she grabbed his hand again, as always their technical was strong, but their component score was high.</p><p>Jyn looked over at him and he nodded saying quietly. “I’ve never had them that high.” They were in third, she turned to hug him again. They had done it, they’d cracked the top three. It wasn’t over yet, Pryce and Thrawn still had to skate, but they were in the top. The judges moved them over to the waiting area, where they’d never been before. Cassian still held her hand before his phone dinged. She nodded and focused on her water while he smiled and shook his head. “Kay is calculating our odds of remaining where we are.” “Tell him, unless they’re over eighty percent, I’m not interested.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Cassian had never appreciated skating to Pacific Rim more, there were slow moments but the music was always pushing them forward. No time to think only to hit every mark, matching Jyn as they moved across the ice faster and cleaner than any performance or practice. When he held her to his back as the Jaeger clanked alive, he could feel her heartbeat, it felt like it was the same tempo as his. Then they split apart but never that far, covering the ice with fast footwork until the final lift as she almost took to the air before ending resting her forehead on his. Jyn’s smile was gorgeous as she hugged him, she’d done that after their last performance too. It was an unexpected moment to hold her again.</p><p>
  
</p><p>When they bowed, he thought he could actually see people standing up. He couldn’t remember getting a standing ovation before. On their way off the ice, he didn’t see any tulips but he did spot an armored bear, Jyn would like that. Even as he skated to grab it, Jyn still held his hand so he gave her the bear and she held it up to another cheer. In the kiss and cry, she beamed at him and reached over to move a piece of his hair that always seemed to come loose, “You should let your hair flop more.”</p><p>“It would get in my eyes,” It had taken a lot of years but he’d found the right amount of product to keep his hair in place.</p><p>“I’ll ask Leia if she has something that’s lighter than what you use, your hair should move too,” Jyn said as she took a drink of water. They’d gotten into this habit of talking about something not skating until the scores posted. Baze and Chirrut were at the edges as there was another roar and now he turned his head to look and saw Jyn do the same.</p><p>“We’re in second,” They’d gotten higher and there was still Thrawn and Pryce, and Rex and Tano, but their scores were high enough. They would stay in the top three.</p><p>Suddenly Jyn was in his arms in a hug and he held her tight as he saw Pryce glare at them while headed to the ice. “We did it and we’re going to be in the gala.”</p><p>“We did,” That meant they’d get one more dance.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Jyn kept hold of Cassian’s hand as they left the ice from their gala dance. The clapping was still echoing behind them, this was the feeling that she wanted to always have. Before they were too far back, she stopped near a quiet part of the hall and he glanced down at her.</p><p>“I know who’s going to be my next partner,” She said and then watched his smile fade which wasn’t the idea.</p><p>“Oh,” He was starting to get polite, Jyn stepped towards him, moving them into a hollow created by the curtains. Cassian made a small sound but let her move him.</p><p>“I told you that you’d be the first one to know. And since it's you, that makes it simple too,” She rushed the last part out but he looked so scared.</p><p>Then his face opened up, “Me? But I’m not what you want.”</p><p>“Yes, you are. I’m a better skater with you and you help me fly. I want to keep doing this with you,” Jyn held his gaze, he needed to believe her and know how much she wanted him because she did. Skating with Cassian was more than she thought she could have from being on the ice.</p><p>He squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back before hugging him and standing up on her covered blades to kiss his cheek and say in his ear, “I also want you.”</p><p>“Jyn?” Cassian sounded almost breathless as he spoke, his breath on her neck and Jyn shivered as she nodded. Then she moved her face that small distance where their lips could meet.</p><p>The first kiss was tender and careful, Jyn put her hands around his neck as they both deepened this kiss. This was what she wanted, passion and skating and Cassian.</p>
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